
The city’s liberal night life is bringing forth a new breed of party animal – weekend male cross-dressers – and many of them lead ‘normal’ lives as well-to-do professionals. A report by Chetana Belagere & Manju Shettar.
Chetana Belagere & Manju Shettar
It’s Saturday night. Forty-year-old software engineer Dipith Saxena can’t wait for them to see his beautiful bright pink saree with the traditional blouse and jewellery set. He rushes to a parlour on Brigade Road where a young attendant is waiting to transform him into a woman, to make him look ‘beautiful.’ Mr Saxena is one among an increasingly open group of men in Bengaluru who indulge in their desire to cross dress as women and come out of the closet during weekends.
Apart from a liberal pub culture which welcomes male cross-dressers as colourful additions to the crowd, the relative safety and anonymity of the Internet has acted as catalysts for this new breed of ‘weekend cross-dressers’ who no longer hesitate to pursue their fantasy to ‘become’ women openly. What’s more, cross-dressing even seems to have become something of a trend, something that the most ‘cool’ and fashionable people do.
Any wannabe cross-dresser who visits the many online forums for male cross-dressers in Bengaluru would find them easily accessible and supportive. Taken together, online groups for male cross-dressers in the city have some 350 members between them who regularly share their desires and needs and often meet in the real world. Though most of
them would like to dress up secretively, there are a few bold ones who openly declare their enjoyment in dressing up in women’s attire.
Why cross-dressing
According to Radha Rani, whose real name is Mayank Sharma, and works as a professor in a reputed research institute: “There are multiple reasons you’ll find men in dresses. A small fraction are entertainers; some are young people demonstrating rebellion. A few cross-dress as a sexual fetish while others cross-dress to be outrageous. But the overwhelming majority of cross-dressers do so for another reason entirely – self expression.” He says the demand for cross-dressing is so high that there are several young men in Bengaluru alone who have taken up cross-dressing as their part-time business. They set up small parlours within their homes and charge a certain amount to customers who are interesting in bringing their desire out of the closet.
Dr Rajesh Menon, another cross-dresser from the city agrees, saying, “There are many unisex parlours around Jayanagar, Brigade Road, Koramangala and Indiranagar which entertain such men and also have hired people exclusively for catering to cross-dressers. They even have accessories which can be rented out for a day and have to be returned after careful use.”
A drag queen speaks
Adam Pasha (28 years old) is one of the few such professional cross-dressers who are openly so, and is well-known for it. Speaking about his early experiences, Pasha says, “I started to cross-dress when I was 18 and my first time experience was horrible. I didn’t
shave my legs and my clothes were too loose and I felt very awkward. Slowly I learnt everything and now I have my own wardrobe.”
Pasha admits that it was difficult for him in the beginning. “I didn’t get the support of my parents but my elder sisters supported me but even they wouldn’t help when I had to dress up.” Pasha is a drag queen who goes by the stage name of ‘Emprissxara’ and often ends up giving fashion tips to fellow cross-dressers. He says he sources his costumes
from abroad and sometimes in India. He has lived in Bangkok for four years, when he used to train aspiring cross-dressers and also did many stage performances.
He says that back in Bengaluru, “I wear normal clothers like a man at my workplace and cross-dress if I go to a disco or clubs. People have begun accepting me now. I invest more time in choosing my costume and jewellery, slippers and other accessories. I won an award when I walked the ramp at the Bangalore Queer Film Festival,” he says, adding
proudly, “I am one of the celebrities in the city.”
Another cross-dresser Noori, a 40-year-old project manager in a private company, says, “I started to cross-dress in my school days and I used to be scared to wear all these costumes and learnt everything while watching my sisters. In the beginning it was difficult but when you have learnt it, it will become easy. I have been cross-dressing
for a year now. I like to wear a sari when I am with my friends.”
Pasha explains that it is very difficult for an Indian man to carry off cross-dressing. Along with guts, it needs some fashion sense. He says, “Indian cross-dressers don’t maintain their fitness and they don’t have a proper colour sense. They just wear normal clothes and
are not choosy either. They are also conservative. Most of the cross-dressers are not highly educated and they usually don’t come out to show their desire because of family restrictions. So they hide it and have fun by themselves when they are alone.”
Cross-dressing myths
Samyukth Rao, a software professional with Infosys and weekend cross-dresser, says there are many myths around cross-dressing. People tend to believe that men who wear dresses are homosexuals. But that’s not true, he says. “Most cross-dressers are strictly heterosexual. Even though gay drag queens are among the most visible (and most
outrageous, bordering on vulgar) men in dresses, the proportion of gays among cross-dressers is the same small percentage as in the rest of society. Speaking of percentages, it’s estimated that 5 percent of all men are closet (secret) cross-dressers.”
Also, the other myth is that ‘cross-dressers seek sexual partners’. But the fact is that while females sometimes use clothing to signal sexual availability, most of the time a woman’s attire is simply a personal expression of attitude and style. It’s the same with
cross-dressers, say the insiders.
Interestingly, according to the Cross dresssers Forum, not all cross-dressers are sissies. They go under categories such as rangers, snipers, Navy, law enforcement officers, firefighters, foundry workers, millwrights, test pilots, and even a rocket scientist
(really) according to their tastes and needs.
Cross-dressers seem to gravitate toward ‘macho’ professions, perhaps in denial of their emerging gender expression, says Rao. Dikshit Mishra, a marketing executive who takes his wife’s help to dress up as a woman whenever he wishes to, says, “Modern psychology accepts that cross-dressing is an expression of personality which is as immutable as left-handedness. Any problems cross-dressers may develop are in reaction to social stigma, prejudice, and bigotry — not disorder. Social judgment is not a valid basis upon which to regard human idiosyncrasies as mental disorders.”
Also, the belief that cross-dressers are perverts is a misunderstanding and the result of media driven stereotypes (Psycho, Silence of the Lambs, Horror Picture Show, etc.) and is not based on fact, he points out.
According to these forums, cross-dressing is not illegal. A statement on one such forum reads: “With the possible exception of a few ancient and largely unenforcable disguise ordinances, people are free to wear whatever fashion and style of clothing they choose and cannot be compelled by authorities to restrict their apparel to gender-specific
attire, else women wouldn’t be seen in pantsuits, jeans, T-shirts, etc.”
Nothing new
Citing the historical evidence for cross-dressing, Rao refers to Arjuna, who dressed as a woman to ‘become’ Brihannala during the last year of the Pandavas’ exile. While he was a bit upset — being cursed by the apsara Urvashi after he had rebuffed her advances and was turned into a ‘kliba’ (man who dressed and behaved as a woman) — it was Krishna who told him the advantages of cross-dressing.
The Mahabharata says that Arjuna, wearing red silk, long hair and bangles as Brihannala, hid his masculine glory without eclipsing it, “like Ketu covering the full moon.” Also, cross-dressing gets its biggest support in the Hindu tradition from Lord Krishna himself, who regularly wore Radha’s earrings, skirt, blouse and shawl — while his belle donned his clothes — peacock-feathered crown and flute included.
Men dressing up like women and women dressing up like men isn’t something restricted to the champagne-sodden decadence of the 1920s Berlin of Marlene Dietrich. It’s also traditionally part and parcel of the ‘sakhi-bekhi’ cult of Vaishnavism.
These contemporary Brihannalas and Krishnas say those who want to dismiss cross-dressing as a passing fad would do well to learn their mythology and brush up their history.
Some of the websites offering cross-dressing tips are:
desicrossdress.blogspot.com
crossdresstips.blogspot.com
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Cross dressing in history
Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo is an all-male dance troupe that combines dance, cross-dressing, and comedy to both parody and celebrate classical ballet.
Drag artist Lady Bunny de Chevalier d’Éon (1728-1810) was the most famous transvestite of the eighteenth century. The French diplomat and soldier lived the first half of his life as a man and the second as a ‘woman’.
Divine (Harris Glenn Milstead, 1945-1988) was a versatile character actor, nightclub singer, and international cult star who generally performed his stage show and movie roles in drag. He became famous through his appearances in John Waters’ films.
Kabuki is a classic Japanese theatrical form incorporating fantastical costumes, stylised gestures, music, and dance. Kabuki originally showcased female and boy prostitutes, but now features all-male casts.
Magnus Hirschfeld (1868-1935) was a pioneering German activist and sexologist. A cross-dresser himself, Hirschfeld coined the term “transvestite.”
Miguel de Molina (1908-1993) reinvented the Spanish flamenco performance, but his open homosexuality and gender-bending stage persona provoked hostile reactions that plagued his career.
José Peréz Ocaña (1947-1983) was a fixture on the counter-cultural scene in Barcelona in the 1970s. The Spanish drag performer and painter was the subject of a milestone film in Spanish cinema by gay director Ventura Pons.